The Treasures of Love: Building Strong Marriages for the Sake of Our Children

In the hustle and bustle of life, the delicate threads that weave our families together can sometimes fray. Yet, it’s often the simplest moments that remind us of the profound impact our relationships have on our children. I recall a heartwarming instance when my son joyfully embraced his mother upon her return from work. With a child’s innocent wisdom, he expressed his desire to love her as much as I did. This poignant moment reflected a beautiful truth: our children learn about love not from definitions, but from our actions and relationships. Consequently, nurturing our marriages is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

Love as the Foundation

Dear men, consider this: one of the most significant gifts you can offer your children is the unwavering love you bestow upon their mother. It’s essential to demonstrate your affection openly. Children are like sponges, absorbing the emotions and actions they witness. When they see their parents loving each other without reservation, they internalize that as the standard for their own future relationships. They come to understand that love is not merely a word, but a practice—expressed through gestures, words, and unwavering support.

The Pillars of Peace and Respect

To the wives and partners, your contributions are invaluable as well. The most profound gifts you can offer your husband are peace and respect. A harmonious partnership fosters an environment of security and happiness for your children. When they observe parents who communicate respectfully, work together, and prioritize each other’s well-being, they experience the beauty of teamwork. This teamwork translates into a safe and nurturing environment, encouraging them to feel secure and ultimately leading them to develop strong self-esteem.

Prioritizing Your Relationship

While loving our children is paramount, it’s crucial that love between spouses remains a top priority. A strong marital bond serves as the backbone of a resilient family. When parents invest time in nurturing their relationship, it creates a refuge where children thrive. The peace that emanates from a loving marriage spills over into parenting, allowing you to approach the challenges of parenthood with patience and mutual support.

Love as a Model for Future Relationships

As parents, we must treat our spouses in a way that sets an example for our children’s future partners. The behaviors we exhibit daily effectively become the template by which our children will measure their own relationships. A failure to engage with respect, affection, and open communication can lead our children to view unhealthy relationships as the norm.

Speaking Kindly: The Words We Use Matter

Our children are watching us closely, observing not just the profound moments but also the mundane interactions. The tone we use with our spouses—be it gentle or harsh—impacts our children’s perception of love and conflict resolution. Harsh words such as “What’s wrong with you?” or derogatory remarks only serve to undermine our family fabric. Instead, create a home filled with kindness and patience, where disagreements are approached with understanding and compassion.

Preaching the Gospel of Love

Our marriages act as the "Gospel" we convey to our children daily. It is our responsibility to demonstrate what a healthy relationship looks like. They are enrolled in a school of emotional intelligence where you are their primary educators. Thus, it is vital to commit to demonstrating a loving and respectful marriage.

Balancing Parenthood and Partnership

Maintaining a balance between being a partner and a parent is necessary but often overlooked. You do not need to sacrifice one role for the other. Instead, aim to harmonize these roles. The investment made in both your relationship and your family life will yield benefits that strengthen both your marriage and your family’s overall stability and happiness.

Children as Observers and Learners

Children are astute observers who record every behavior they witness. For their mental and emotional health, it is crucial to live harmoniously in your marriage. Display affection openly—let your children observe that their parents love each other. This not only instills a sense of security but also sets expectations for how they should be treated in their own future relationships.

Discipline with Love

Finally, while we guide our children in their upbringing, remember to discipline in love. Children are inherently flawed and will make mistakes. Instead of reacting with harshness or frustration, approach discipline from a place of understanding and kindness. Pray with them, help them understand the value of prayer, and instill a sense of spirituality. Lead by example, shower them with love, and bless them daily.

Conclusion

The essence of a thriving family lies in the love shared between parents. By nurturing your marriage, you create a sanctuary for your children. Allow them to witness the genuine affection and respect between you and your spouse, and they will carry these lessons into their futures. Remember, the legacy we leave behind is nurtured not just in words, but in the daily demonstrations of love, respect, and commitment.

May your commitment to one another remain steadfast, and may you find joy in both your partnership and your parenting journey.

Pst Samuel Olagbenjo
Instagram: @samuelolagbenjo